after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
