You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
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I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
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My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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