there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
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If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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