he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
