She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
