i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
