Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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