just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
