we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
