: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
