i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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