my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize