Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
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the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
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I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.