So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.