there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
