My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.