Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying