Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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