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• (917): View more from New York City

  Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha

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• (914): View more from New York

  The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"

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  You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (708): View more from Illinois

  Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  this is not real life

  (1-267): View more from Pennsylvania

  it never is. after midnight never counts.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.

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• (408): View more from California

  I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.

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• 

  27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (254): View more from Texas

  It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose

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• (626): View more from California

  we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED

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