i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
