She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
