Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
