Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
