Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
did i walk over a car last night?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You are a genius and a whore.
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