Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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