She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
