you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he was CRYING into my vagina
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
