I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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