How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize