The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I need moral support for this bender
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Randomize
