all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize