his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
