Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
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Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
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I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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