anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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