Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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