She's JV to your varsity
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
