no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
