you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize