You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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