Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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