if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
