hotel room ftw
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
