he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
