Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
