Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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