I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
