i think my mom watched the whole time
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
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I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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