I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
