We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
