Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
that is very illegal...i love you.
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