I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
