yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
