Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
