i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
