So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
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he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
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My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize