Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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