Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
