so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
