puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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