on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize