New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I have post one night stand depression
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