My liver just broke up with me...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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