Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
