She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i will never coherently bang her
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
