so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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