I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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