somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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