I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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